FOR THE WEEK OF NOVEMBER 14, 2016

DEAR JERRY: In the early 1960s, I was a teenager whose only records were popular 45s, while my parents bought only non-rock LPs. We rarely listened to music together.

But once I heard them laughing while listening to one of their album cuts, and I enjoyed it.

A woman who is looking for love mentions many products she uses to try and catch a man. I don't remember the brand names, but they included items like perfume and cosmetics.

Do you know the title and singer? Can you unearth the lyrics?
—Shirley Burns-Patterson, Cincinnati

DEAR SHIRLEY: Clearly, there was no chance of confusing your records with those belonging to your parents. Sounds typical. Given your description, the most likely suspect is "Nobody Makes a Pass at Me," recorded in September 1962 by a 19-year-old music industry neophyte named Barbra Streisand. It was just her second time on an album of show tunes.

Barbra's first appearance on a commercial release came in April, 1962, on the Original Broadway Cast LP of "I Can Get It for You Wholesale" (Columbia KOL-5780/KOS-2180).

"Nobody Makes a Pass at Me" is one of six tunes featuring Barbra on "Pins and Needles - The 25th Anniversary Edition of the Hit Musical Revue (Originally Produced By the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union, November 27, 1937)." Unlike "Wholesale," this is not from a live stage recording, it is a studio cast album (Columbia OL-5810/OS-2210).

As with "Wholesale," the "Pins and Needles" lyrics and music were written by Harold Rome. Reportedly, Columbia really wanted "I Can Get It for You Wholesale," and closed the deal with Rome by agreeing to release "Pins and Needles - The 25th Anniversary Edition."

Other than the addition of two new verses, Streisand's "Nobody Makes a Pass at Me" is very similar to the original version, performed by Millie Weitz.

Some products and references in the lyrics remain widely known, but for those not so obvious, a helpful note will be in brackets:

I want men that I can please, that I can squeeze, that I can tease
Two or three or four or more
What are those fools waiting for
I want love and I want kissing
I want more of what I'm missing
Nobody comes knocking at my front door

What do they think my knocker's for
If they don't come soon there won't be any more
What can the matter be
I wash my clothes with Lux, my etiquette's the best
I spend my hard-earned bucks on just what the ads suggest
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me

I'm full of Kellogg's Bran, I eat Grape Nuts on the sly
The date is on the can of the coffee that I buy
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me

Oh, Beatrice Fairfax [advice columnist], give me the bare facts
How do you make them fall
If you don't save me, the things the Lord gave me
Never will be any use to me at all

I sprinkle on a dash of Fragrance de Amour
The ads say "makes men rash" [anxious], but I guess their smell is poor
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me

I use Ovaltine and Listerine, Barbasol, and Musterole [ointment]
Lifebuoy soap and Flit [insecticide]
So why ain't I got it

I use Coca-Cola and Marmola [debunked diet tablet]
Crisco, Lesco [stew] and Mazola [corn oil]
Ex-lax and Vapex [inhalant]
So why ain't I got sex

I use Albolene [moisturizing cleanser] and Maybellene, Alka-Seltzer, Bromo-Seltzer
Odorono [deodorant] and Sensation [skin cream]
So why ain't I got fascination

My girdles come from Best [brand], the Times' ads say they're chic
And up above I'm dressed in the brassiere of the week
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me

I use Pond's on my skin, with Ry-Krisp I have thinned I get my culture in … I began "Gone with the Wind"
Oh dear, what can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me

Oh Dorothy [Dorthea] Dix [educator] please, show me some tricks please
I want some men to hold
I want attention and things I can't mention
And I want them all before I get too old
I use Mum [deodorant] every day and Angelus Lip Lure [lipstick]
But still men stay away

Just like Ivory Soap, I'm 99-and-44 one hundred percent pure
What can the matter be
Nobody makes a pass at me
I don't know … oh, dear

If the compact disc format is your preference, "Pins and Needles" was digitized in 1993, thus creating the 31st anniversary of the "25th Anniversary Edition of the Hit Musical Revue" (Columbia CK-57380).

The reference to the 31st anniversary is mine; but there is one eye-catching enhancement to the front cover.

Now it is "Pins and Needles - Featuring Barbra Streisand."

IZ ZAT SO? As indicated by the album's subtitle, "Pins and Needles" was originally produced by the International Ladies' Garment Workers' Union.

It is the first and only hit show conceived and produced by a labor union.

"Pins and Needles" is also the only popular Broadway musical with a cast made up of people completely unknown in the theater world, including the aforementioned Millie Weitz.

They were all members of the Garment Worker's Union.

Their anonymity didn't last long, as "Pins and Needles" soon became a must-see show, causing cast members to leave their sewing baskets, and the garment industry, to do eight performances each week.

Norma Rae would have been proud.